This is a rare example of a good woman, whom I have intended to mention here:
It is reported that Shuraih, who was a judge, met ash Sha’bi. This latter asked him about his life at home. Shuraih said: “I have not had any problem with my wife for twenty years.” ash-Sha’bi said: “How come?”
Shuraih replied: “On our wedding night, I looked at her and saw a rare fascinating beauty. I then said to myself: I should make Wudu’, pray two Rakaa’t and praise Allah. When I finished, I found out that she was following me in prayers and finished as soon as I had finished. When the guests left the house, I moved towards her and tried to touch her. But she said: “Wait a minute O Abu Umayyah (i.e., Shuraih), stay where you are.” Then, she said: “All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad. I am a stranger to you and I have no idea about your morals and attitudes. So tell me what you like and I will do it, and what you hate and I will avoid it. She continued: There must be among your people a woman that you could have married and a man among my people that I could have married, but Allah has accomplished a matter already ordained in His Knowledge. Allah has given you control over me, so obey Him; either retain me on reasonable terms or release me with kindness. This is all I have to say and may Allah forgive us both.”
Shuraih, then, said: I found myself in need of giving a Khutbah, which I had not delivered for quite a long time. I said: All praise is due to Allah. We praise Him, seek His aid and ask for His forgiveness. Peace and Blessing be upon Muhammad. You (i.e., his wife) have said many things, which, if you stand firm on them, you will be rewarded, but if you fail them, they will be evidence against you. I love such and such things, and I hate such and such things. You may spread whatever good deed you see, and conceal whatever evil deed you see. She, then, said: “What would you say to my relatives visiting?” I replied: “I do not want your family to dictate things to me.” She said: “Which of your neighbours do you want to visit me? I said: “The family of such and such are good people and the family of such and such are bad company.”
Shuraih, then, said. I had a wonderful wedding night and our first year was marvelous.
When the new year came and upon my return from the court, I found a woman in my house. I asked my wife: ‘Who is she?’ My wife replied: `Your mother-in-law.’ My mother-in-law looked at me and asked: “How do you find your wife?” I said ‘The best wife a man can have.’ She, then, said: ‘O Abu Umayyah, you will be in a worse condition than her only in two cases: if she gives birth to a child or if she enjoys your favours. I swear that men have never been inflicted with a worse evil than a spoilt woman. So discipline your wife.’
I lived with my wife for twenty years and never complained about her, except once, and then I was unfair to her.
This is how a husband should be, how a wife should be and how a mother-in-law should be.
